We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
