I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
