You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
