roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
