Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
