What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
