The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
