I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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