Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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