Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
