I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
