sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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