I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
