just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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