i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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