I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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