I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
