What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize