yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
