yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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