she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I understand Curling. That high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
