i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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