I wannas sexs uuuuu
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
