HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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