Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
