Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
