She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
