i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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