Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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