I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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