He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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