not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
