just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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