i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
