I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize