youre lurking in front of me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize