No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
