So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
