just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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