Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
