I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
