so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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