i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to sanitize my soul.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize