something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
