It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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