last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
