I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
