It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
