nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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