I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
