Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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