Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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