took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
