Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
