God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
