where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
