The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
