when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
