i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
