All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
