the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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