i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
