everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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