i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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